i was very calm. i wasn't in my usual self. i remained silent and all i did was to nod my head. i questioned myself, is it all my fault? i guess partly its my fault. you people "accused" me for not doing my job. not organising individual lessons for the upcoming grading exams. everything was my fault and all you did was to gossip behind my back. you told all sort of stories to the teacher in charge. i didn't get lectured but i felt useless. i did my job, i tried to organise lessons but it's just not as easy as it seems like. no one understand what i felt and when sectionals were used to practice our grading exam piece, i got hell from you. you screamed at me as though i really did something bad but i didn't. we didn't know that you wanted us to practise chang cheng. but now i know and we managed to play everything. you always push the blame to percussion. claiming that we dragged the whole co down. because of us, chang cheng couldn't be played but i didn't think that we're the cause. what about other sections? why only us? and now you change your stories again. well back to topic. if its my fault i'll gladly accept the lecture or anything else but i wasn't in the wrong. who have seen my effort? who?! i guess i'm already used to all this crap that is happening to me. i don't even bother to argue back because i'm tired. really. well yk wanted to explain for me that all this crap that's happening ain't my fault. he felt that i was being accused for not doing my job. well but i told him not to because its pointless. they have no trust in me. i'm sick and tired of all this till i have no reactions at all. i hate you a lot. i really do. thanks for ruining my name.
fyi, its my conductor that i hate.